Milestone Seven

The baby is a week old today.

So: seven things I've learned as a new dad.

1. Babies are easier to pose when they're asleep.
2. My singing is soothing to my baby. Also, (unlike her mother) she doesn't complain when I'm off key.
3. Car seat instructions are a pack of lies.
4. The 'Hush Little Baby' lullaby is more fun when you make up the lyrics as you go. Especially when you're overtired and don't particularly care about being family friendly.
5. I can sleep through earthquakes and other natural disasters, but my daughter's crying wakes me instantly.
6. People will want you to take photos of them holding your baby. They'll want you to do this with their point and shoot camera under lighting conditions that require a flash. They'll always be surprised when they don't look good in these photos.
7. When the attractive doula asks my wife to get into bed and take her top off it means I'm about to hear a bunch of technical details regarding how milk comes out of a boob and goes into a baby.

Also:
8. My daughter is an evil genius and is trying to take over the world.